Sober Story: How Sobriety Impacts Your Ability to Pursue Your Purpose

In this story, Jake tells us how he initially used substances to deal with social anxiety. He goes on to share how substances derailed his ability to follow his purpose and what ultimately lead him to stop drinking and smoking.

This post was created for the sober and sober curious looking for relatable, inspiring sober-positive content. The following are Jake’s experiences, words and opinions. Enjoy :)

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My substance consumption started when I was 14 years old. 

I had just gone into high school in a new town and I had gone from a small middle school with a nurturing environment to a huge school where I felt totally lost within the crowd. Not only did I feel lost in the masses, I felt different from everyone. 

I was a 14-year-old in deep contemplation about things like the nature of reality, the nature of existence, and the nature of consciousness. I would get lost, trapped even, in my own mind thinking about whether the material world gave rise to consciousness or whether somehow material reality exists in the context of consciousness. 

I became really, like, stuck in my head grappling with all these questions and it was extremely isolating at the time.

I would see other teenagers doing what teenagers usually do: talking about pop culture and listening to pop songs about cars and money. My response to this was, “What is this world? Does nobody realize that somehow, we are living, conscious beings existing in the universe? Does no one else see that the existence of a single speck of dust is a mind-blowing reality?” 

If I would try to talk to anyone like this, people were just, like, “Dude, what are you talking about?” 

I finally found my people, a place where I felt I fit in, with the stoner kids who were smoking weed and talking about the stuff I liked thinking about. That’s how cannabis started my journey to substance abuse.

Over time there were other substances: I smoked cigarettes, I partied, and I drank alcohol. It all started with cannabis and an attempt to self-medicate the anxiety that I didn’t even know I had. I was unconscious of why I was choosing to use substances at the time, but I do remember feeling such a sense of alienation. 

It was as though the thoughts that were going on in my head seemed so distant and different from what most of the culture around me was thinking. Even though I was young, I had a real desire to find a big purpose and the weight of that, ironically, led me to behaviors that got in the way of pursuing it. Alcohol or a joint gave me the ability to take the pressure off of myself for a moment.

Unfortunately, I then became trapped in the dependency of using the substance to be at ease. I was unable to put my mind at rest and be lighthearted in my life when I wasn’t using, so you can start to see the constraints that my usage had on my aspirations.

I had all the normal fears about getting sober, such as the fear of abandoning my whole social landscape.

With that said, I feel that I was pretty blessed in my sober journey because when it got to the point where I was really ready to get sober, I was already on a spiritual journey and it became very clear to me that I was done with these patterns. 

For example, one of my last experiences of smoking a joint and drinking came to an end about halfway through the joint. It hit me that I didn’t want it anymore. Using wasn’t giving me anything anymore, I had gotten all the juice out of it that I could, and there was nothing good left. 

I also knew somehow that there was more to life, more that I wanted to do. For example, a big part of deciding to get sober was a desire to get more into climbing and mountaineering.

I wanted to experience the spiritual states that those activities unlocked and I didn’t like combining those activities with substance use because, let’s face it, you’re just not as good a climber if you’re on something. Sobriety is the ultimate state for climbing mountains. 

Ultimately, it was my zest for life that lead me to choose to strop drinking and using mind-altering substances.