The Freedom Equation: How Decisions Create or Destroy Freedom

“Freedom” had a relatively narrow definition when I was growing up. I thought of it as having the right to think, say and do whatever I wanted.

There were consequences in reaction to those things, sure. But I was taught that, if I stayed within the lines that society and the government drew, I would be seen as "good" and I could keep my freedom.

Now I realize that so much of what I experienced before was privilege, and that true freedom as something else entirely. It isn’t something that we’re given and need to protect but something we create - and continue to cultivate - for ourselves.

For example, it’s not that I’m obsessed with sobriety. It’s that I’m obsessed with autonomy because of the freedoms it creates:

• Financial abundance

• Empty schedule

• Unlimited growth

Sobriety gives me a huge leg-up on all the above so I chose to be sober.

Here are the three ways that I continue to create freedom in my life:

1. Harness Internal Freedom

Internal freedom is the sense of autonomy and self-determination we feel within ourselves. This “sense” can be enhanced or restricted by our emotions and habits, which is why we can easily lose the feeling of internal freedom.

In my late teens and early 20s, emotions like fear, self-doubt, and guilt limited my sense of freedom.

This led me to make decisions based on avoiding discomfort rather than pursuing my personal desires:

I'd spend all weekend watching football because that was what the boys were doing.

The boys gave me beer and attention, and beer gave me the liquid courage to handle that attention, which I thought was the highest prize at the time. 

I’ve since sworn off both football and booze and I am much happier for it.

How?

I changed the way I think by engaging with:

• Spirituality

• Cognitive Based Therapy

• Neuro Linguistic Programing

When you change the way you think, your emotional troubles start to disappear (along with the bad habits you take to avoid them).

The change doesn’t just happen to you – it’s an “it works if you work” sort of thing.

Building an internal freedom enables you to take charge of your life, assert your needs, and pursue your dreams unapologetically.

2. Navigate External Influences

External freedom encompasses the external factors that impact our choices. Society, culture, family, and social norms all influence our perception of what is possible and acceptable — either broadening our horizons or constraining our decisions.

How many people do you know let societal, parental, relationship or financial expectations dictate their career paths? Maybe you’re one of them. I was.

All I knew at age 18 was:

1. I liked math (it's black & white)

2. Accounting was all about numbers

3. I'd be financially independent after college

4. The field was abundant with job opportunities

5. My sister was an accountant (and it was accepted by my parents)

Four years out of college I quit my sexy accounting job and started a life coaching business.

What does this timeline teach me? That I’d been in the habit of asking, “What do others think is good for me?” Rather, I should've been asking, “What do I think is right for me?”

When you ask your inner-self questions you enhance your emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand how external experiences meet your internal thoughts to influence your emotional state. Strengthening your emotional intelligence is key to navigating external influences so that you stop making choices based on feelings of doubt, hopelessness and survival.

My mother and my partner were so skeptical when I started my coaching business. Luckily, I had enough internal freedom and emotional intelligence to navigate their external influence on me.

This one is more of a “when you know better, you do better” thing. You have to be willing to study and learn (and take some risks). Once you do the whole world opens up.

When you can hear your own voice above the noise of societal expectations, you can make decisions that align with your values and aspirations.

3. Find Fulfillment

Embrace your freedoms as a gateway to fulfillment. Wanting what you want and wanting more than you have (or all that you could possibly have) is not selfish. It’s self-assured.

Have you ever asked yourself, “How did I get here?”

Not the, “how did I get into such a shithole?” But, “how did I get everything I’m supposed to want yet still feel disappointed and hungry for so much more?”

It’s because we’ve been taught a narrow definition of freedom -- and to protect it at all costs.

Protect your money.

Protect your belongings.

Protect your standing in society.

Protect yourself from your emotions.

We were taught wrong.

To Stay Good and Protect Freedom = Gratitude of Thought + Denial of Emotion

This is not the freedom equation. It’s the suppression equation.

It makes us believe that we have all the freedom we deserve and that we should be grateful for what we have, that the disappointment or anger we feel is self-centered and self-righteous.

It’s time to unlearn all of that.

To Stay Good and Protect Freedom = Gratitude of Thought + Denial of Emotion

The freedom equation is:

Cultivating of Thought + Processing of Emotion = Take Action to Increase Your Freedom

This teaches us that we hold the power to create freedom where it doesn’t yet exist, through harnessing our internal freedom and navigating external influences.

The best news? The freedom equation has a multiplier. When you are free you give other people permission to be free. You show people what is possible. That’s the best gift you could ever give someone.

I see the possibilities within you. Your power and the ripple effect it can create.

It’s time to create your freedom, friend.

Ready, set….

GO,

Jenna