Sober Story: Finding Confidence and Trusting Yourself in Sobriety

In this story, Meg, shared the following on learning to trust yourself during recovery and how do I trust myself after addiction.

This post was created for the sober and sober curious looking for relatable, inspiring sober-positive content. The following are the experiences, words, and opinions of Meg. Enjoy :)

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You stop caring about other people’s opinions when you trust yourself with your future. Self-trust. Talk to me about what that means to you, Meg.

I think that when we trust ourselves, we no longer seek validation and approval from others. When I was in my drinking days, I always used alcohol as a mask, thinking it made me funnier and helped me fit in.

As a mom in the mommy wine culture, drinking became a permission slip I used to check out of my mommy responsibilities for a little while. It gave me a façade of being someone else temporarily.

In our alcohol-free journey, we’re forced to turn inward and truly discover who we are and learn to trust that inner wisdom we all possess.

Some people call it intuition, inner knowing, Holy Spirit, or whatever they prefer. The name doesn’t matter; what’s important is that many of us hear that inner voice. It’s what motivates us to choose an alcohol-free life. When we slow down and listen to our inner knowing and intuition, we can hear our own thoughts and desires.

When we embrace that intuition and trust ourselves, we can discover who we are, what we want, what serves us, and what doesn’t. This journey teaches us about setting boundaries and other valuable life lessons.

In my opinion, this journey towards self-discovery is the path to healing. It’s the greatest gift we can give ourselves because it allows us to gauge where we are physically, mentally, and spiritually every day.

It enables us to show up for ourselves and not rely on others for our happiness or our future. It means becoming the creator of our future. Even during challenging times, which we all encounter in our alcohol-free journey, we can learn to see emotional triggers as invitations to get curious.

We can step out of the roles of victim, persecutor, or rescuer that we play in the drama triangle when we’re drinking.

Instead, we can become the author of our lives, the creator. We can ask ourselves why something is coming up, whether it relates to our past experiences, and what it’s here to teach us or reveal. We can view those who trigger us (at work or in our family) as opportunities for growth and learning rather than as adversaries.

This mindset shift allows us to move through emotions and become the creators of our lives. Living this way means going with the flow, allowing life to happen for us and through us, rather than at us. Trusting ourselves is essential for this approach because we are the creators, and we need to trust ourselves.

Speaking of writing, how has your journey as an author influenced your connection with your inner knowing?

Writing is incredibly cathartic for me. It’s the way I listen to myself. Sometimes, the first thing I do in the morning is journal to process my thoughts. Then I meditate for a few minutes to “listen”. Other times, it’s the opposite. I start with meditation, feeling a bright light filling me and inspiring me to write. Meditation and journaling don’t have a right or wrong way, but both help me connect with my inner self.

It’s important to acknowledge our emotions and thoughts, even when they’re challenging.

By doing so, we can explore our feelings and uncover past issues that may need healing. It’s a process that requires time and introspection.

Journaling helps me sit with myself and become more curious about my experiences. It’s a way to let emotions flow through us rather than resisting or suppressing them, which only leads to them persisting.