Stop Tolerating THIS (To Break Free from Bad Habits)
The things we are dissatisfied with in life are the things we are not taking seriously.
As a milestone in my sober journey approaches, I find myself reflecting on the passage of time and the inevitable changes it brings.
I'm prompted to ask myself — and perhaps you, too — how free do you want to be?
The formula for freedom is:
Nurture Your Mind + Process Your Emotions = Action-oriented Insights
This principle reminds us that we possess the capability to cultivate liberty by harnessing our internal autonomy and navigating external constraints. You can read more about it here: The Freedom Equation: How Decisions Create or Destroy Freedom
The thing is, most people are more motivated by pain than by freedom.
We require rock bottom, or a new low, to force us into action.
The question we should be asking ourselves, then, becomes this: what am I no longer willing to tolerate in my life?
It's not about labeling something as inherently bad or wrong, but rather acknowledging that there are certain things we no longer wish to associate with or endure.
It's about honoring our own growth and evolution, even if it means letting go of familiar comforts or facing uncomfortable truths.
Darkness: Your Guide to Freedom
My rock bottom with alcohol came in the middle of the night, after three glasses of wine and the inability to sleep, I muttered under my breath “I hate myself.”
My rock bottom was the feeling of deep self-loathing for how I:
Lacked follow-through on my dreams
Constantly expected more from myself
Failed to drink less, despite all my best intentions
I was finally ready to quit drinking when I was no longer willing to tolerate the self-loathing that it cultivated.
The darkness illuminated my path forward.
Darkness is not the absence of light, but the birthplace of it.
It can be daunting to release what's familiar, to confront the unknown, and to navigate the uncertainty that accompanies change.
There is fear and resistance along the way, but these are the temporary barriers on the path to personal liberation.
The benefits of letting go, however, are profound:
Lasting serenity
Reclaimed autonomy
Space for new experiences
We discover a newfound sense of freedom and clarity, unencumbered by the burdens of the past.
Accelerate Your Next Rock Bottom
I recently had another “I hate myself” moment.
When these words leave my mouth I know it’s time to start putting action to my thoughts. I can no longer stay still and stay happy.
Two minutes later I was on my knees on the kitchen floor, releasing my grasp of control over the situation and asking for help from SPIRIT as tears flowed down my face.
This next rock bottom has nothing to do with alcohol, though. It has to do with relationships.
Your next rock bottom might be about work, your identity, or finances.
What are you no longer willing to tolerate?
Remember, it's not about judgment or condemnation — it's about honoring your own journey and embracing the transformative power of letting go.
Don’t be afraid to look in the mirror or dive into the darkness.
If you are dissatisfied with some aspect of your life it’s because you are not taking it seriously.
It’s time to take yourself seriously.
Stop tolerating the fact that you know what you want but just aren't doing anything about it.
For those who don’t feel safe taking action alone or who don’t quite trust themselves, I highly recommend getting help from a third party.
As I navigate my way through the darkness of my current rock-bottom, I enlisted an army to trudge through the mud with me:
One therapist
Two best friends
Three supportive sisters
A variety of stable communities
This is what it takes to stand upright in a storm or walk gracefully through a flashmob.
Which I – and you – deserve.
We deserve an army of support.
I believe we’re building one within these letters, where every shared experience of truth builds our strength.
Thanks for being here.
Jenna Lou