Sober Story: How To Go to Concerts Sober

In this story, Paul, a sobriety advocate with over 30 years of continuous sobriety, shared the following tips on how to go to concerts without picking up a drink, how can you have fun at a concert without alcohol and how can you enjoy music without alcohol.

This post was created for the sober and sober curious looking for relatable, inspiring sober-positive content. The following are Paul’s experiences, words and opinions. Enjoy :)

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I have always been a big Deadhead, a fan of the band The Grateful Dead. I think Jerry Garcia is one of the great tragedies of our time because he never really got the treatment he needed — he got partial treatment but not the full treatment he needed. I was a rare bird in those days who went to those concerts for the music — I wasn’t there for the drugs because the music was the drug for me.

But when I got sober, I had to figure out my truth around when it was okay to go back and see live music, specifically or generally, but to go see the Dead and to see Jerry before he died. It took me three years of consistently evaluating myself to make sure I felt comfortable in crowds while being sober.

For me, a big component of my drinking was the relief from the social anxiety that I felt. Call it social awkwardness or social sensitivity, I knew that going to a concert might make me uncomfortable. What was I going to turn to when I felt awkward? What was I going to turn to when I got hot from dancing? I couldn’t turn to beer anymore, so I had to work on my social anxiety and become comfortable in my own skin before it felt safe for me to go back to concerts. I had to be brutally honest with myself about my readiness and wait until I knew I could be a part of that environment without being tempted.

Here’s my concert-ready toolkit:

Go with someone who’s got your back. I like having somebody there who’s going to look out for me. I have an amazing circle of acquaintances, even in my workplace, who would punch me in the face before they let me put a beer in my hand. I have cultivated friendships with people, relatives, and friends who accept my sobriety 100%. They might be sober or they might drink normally, but they understand me, support me, and celebrate my sobriety.
Plan and give yourself permission to do the right thing. I like to ask myself, “What about this experience might make me uncomfortable?” and “How can I plan around that?” For example, I know it’s going to be expensive, but I’ll let myself buy bottled water when I get hot from dancing. Also, I give myself permission to move or leave when the evening gets to “that point” — when people are getting out of control, and I can’t hear the music anymore.
At the end of the day, it’s about being honest with yourself (and maybe some others) moment to moment and choosing that your next action will be an action that takes good care of yourself.