Sober Story: How to Deal with the Awkwardness of Dating in Sobriety

In this story, Mic, a sobriety advocate and founder of Sober Babes Vancouver, a sober community for women, non-binary people, and members of the LGBTQ+ community who are sober, sober curious, or want to drink less alcohol, shares insights on sober dating. Is sober dating hard?

This post was created for the sober and sober curious looking for relatable, inspiring sober-positive content. The following are Mic’s experiences, words and opinions. Enjoy :)

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Here’s my new dating mantra: If someone thinks I’m boring for being sober, they’re not the kind of person I want in my life.

I encourage you to be honest and upfront with your date before investing too much time or energy. If someone asks to meet up for drinks, you can say something like, “I’m happy to go to a bar, but just so you know, I’m sober! I’m fine with you drinking around me, but I don’t drink.”

And listen, if someone ghosts you after hearing this, please understand that their “rejection” of you is really the universe protecting you. I don’t know about you, but I don’t particularly want to be with someone whose main hobby is drinking.

I want a partner and friends who will respect my sobriety and enjoy non-drinking activities with me. Even though being ghosted feels awful because it’s just rude, every human being deserves better than that, at the end of the day, it’s still a win because I don’t have to waste my time pretending we’re right for each other when we clearly aren’t.

It’s empowering to know that even if the other person is the one who ghosted, I have the power to make the choice for myself that they are not “my people.” I don’t have to chase them, and I don’t have to start drinking again just so they’ll like me. I can choose for myself that I am done with them.