Sober Snacks #2

Bite size tips & stories to help you not drink today. For the sober and sober curious looking for digestible, on-the-go sober-positive content. These are the stories and lifestyle tips of people who don’t drink. Enjoy :)

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When asked “what can I get you to drink?”, you say:

A mocktail!

I was a beer-first, wine-second kind of guy so the thing that I won’t have is a non-alcoholic beer or wine.

That’s just me, personally. I’ve done the reading I understand the science behind why alcohol torments some and doesn’t torment others — it has to do with the way it triggers neurological pathways in our minds.

Non-alcoholic beer and wine could do that for me because it’s just so similar to the “real” stuff. Conversely, I wasn’t really into liquor so I can drink mocktails all night long without even thinking about alcohol.

What advice would you give a smart, driven human that’s getting sober or is sober curious? Any advice they should ignore?

The only absolute must in sobriety is to be honest with yourself and don’t drink. How do you do that? Figure out how you’re not going to succumb to your triggers.

I have always been a big Deadhead, a fan of the band The Grateful Dead. I think Gerry Garcia is one of the great tragedies of our time because he never really got the treatment he needed — he got partial treatment but not the full treatment they needed. I was a rare bird in those days who went to those concerts for the music — I wasn’t there for the drugs because the music was the drug for me. But when I got sober, I had to figure out my truth around when it was OK to go back and see live music, specifically or generally but to go see the Dead and to see Jerry before he died. It took me three years of consistently evaluating myself to make sure I felt comfortable in crowds and being sober.

For me, a big component of my drinking was the relief from the social anxiety that I felt. Call it social awkwardness or call it social sensitivity, I knew that going to a concert might make me uncomfortable. What was I going to turn to when I felt awkward? What was I going to turn to when I get hot from dancing? I couldn’t turn to beer anymore, so I had to work on my social anxiety and become comfortable in my own skin before it felt safe for me to go back to concerts. I had to be brutally honest with myself about my readiness and wait until I knew I could be a part of that environment without being tempted.

At the end of the day, it’s about being honest with yourself (and maybe some others) from moment to moment and choosing that your next action will be an action that takes good care of yourself.

During your sobriety, what new belief, behavior, or habit has most improved your life?

Pause. When you’re sober, you can be awake. That is, off-automatic and in the realm of responding rather than reacting. Pause is the ability to respond instead of reacting.

What is a myth that you’ve heard about sobriety? What’s your comeback/response to that myth?

That nobody is happy, nobody is smiling, and everyone is miserable in sobriety. Don’t get me wrong, sobriety is challenging, especially in the early days, but it doesn’t cost you your sense of humor. In fact, the ability will laugh at yourself is a great sober tool that’s underused and underappreciated. So much of the public understanding of sobriety and alcoholism is largely based on the media’s inaccurate portrayal of sobriety. What I want people to know is that there is still humor and there is still fun in sobriety. Not to mention, everything tastes better!!