Anger is A Superpower (How to Get Ahead in Your Rebellious Era)

Hi Friend 🖐🏼

The problem with rock bottom is that it can manifest in a variety of ways - and it often doesn’t look like you may expect it to.

For example, when I was at my rock bottom, I was pretty, young, had a full-time job, a healthy relationship, and a great family. I was in denial for a long time because I didn’t have many (visible) consequences and it was (seemingly) easier to keep drinking than to stop.

In reality, I hated my job but I was trained to be grateful for it. It looked great on my resume, it paid “well,” and I had a corporate credit card. But none of that mattered because I hated it.

Drinking quickly became a reward for a difficult day of other people wearing me down. From the age of 23 I poured myself a beer or glass of wine every night as a way to relax and reward myself for a long day.

I used my denial (and the medicine of alcohol) to stay in that job for two years before I finally got mad enough to leave.

Anger vs. Resentment

While researching and practicing emotional intelligence for the last seven years, I’ve come to understand how, in my first job, I was able to go from denial to anger to being able to make a change -- and why it took me two long and painful years to get there.

If you were to ask me what the problem was during those two years, I would have told you that work was the problem because:

• I had forced working hours, sometimes until 2 a.m.

• There was zero mentorship (and I didn’t know what the hell I was doing

• I had to work with disrespectful colleagues who rated women based off their appearances

I was angry about all of this, and it was justifiable.

But the real problem was that I was walking around blaming people for my own unhappiness. Unfortunately, blame is counterproductive and it’s what kept me in a toxic environment for so long.

What I know now is that I wasn’t just angry -- I was resentful. And there’s a big, important difference between the two.

Anger is what happens when something gets in the way of what we want or how we think things should be. It’s “you did X, so now I can’t do Y.” It’s a problem based on facts.

Resentment, on the other hand, is a function of envy and is related to perceived unfairness or injustice. It’s “because you did X, I think it’s now impossible for me to do Y.” It’s a problem based on perception.

How long have you been scraping across your rock bottom of blame? That could look like:

• Drinking for stress release

• Tolerating your mother’s gaslighting

• Pushing yourself through a 45+ hour workweek

• Keeping the peace instead of speaking your needs to your significant other

Be honest. I’m guessing the answer is hard to admit and somewhere in the range of “way too long.”

I want these answers to make you mad.

If you know you are capable of more, and you’re just not following through with it, realize that you’re scraping across the “rock bottom” of your next-level potential. Your current version of rock bottom might have a fancy title or a big bank account, but if you’re carrying around a ton of resentment masked as anger and blame, you’re denying yourself a world of potential.

Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. - Carrie Fisher (the actor who played Princess Leia in the original Star Wars films).

True words.

The fastest way to excel is to see everything that’s presented to you as “curriculum” - an assignment from the teacher of life. Resentment can be a masterclass in growth.

Use Resentment (to Get Ahead of 99% of People)

When you get mad, it’s because something that you highly value has been threatened.

Resentment is a tool to excavate and clarify what you value and want more of.

You’re angry at your boss for working you until 2 a.m. That threatens your health, your ambitions, and your relationships. These things mean a lot to you. What are you going to do about it?

If you feel powerless, it’s only because you’re telling yourself you are.

“I’m broke.”

“I’m weak.”

“I’m not good enough.”

You become the story you tell yourself.

You always have the power to orient your thoughts, feelings, and actions into alignment with the person you want to become. The story you want to live out. Without limit.

Use your resentment as a tool for change.

Re-write your personal story.

Gain clarity on what is most important to you and take action in that direction.

It really is that simple.

It’s just not what you’ve been taught. You’ve been taught to fear your emotions, not let them overwhelm you. So you drink and text and watch and purchase. Because you’ve been taught that consuming is safer than feeling. It’s not. It’s just a tool for conformity.

So will you use the tool of conformity or the tool of change to inform your future?

It’s your choice.

Get rebellious and step outside of the comfort (and denial) of conformity.

From one rebel to another, you got this.

- Jenna Louise