Sober Story: How To Go to An Event Sober

In this story, Jackie shared the following tips on how to go to an event sober, how to have fun and stay sober at a party and how do you go to a party and not drink.

This post was created for the sober and sober curious looking for relatable, inspiring sober-positive content. The following are Jackie’s experiences, words and opinions. Enjoy :)

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I have always been super outgoing, or at least seemingly outgoing — bubbly and friendly. I’m like the “hostess with the mostess” kind of person. If there’s a room, I know how to work it. I know how to make sure everybody’s having a good time, doing what they’re doing, even though I have my safety zones and people I always go back to.

Almost always I had a drink in my hands. Of course, at the time, I didn’t realize how much I needed that drink as a security blanket. It’s amazing how a little wine glass could hide my big body so well — meaning a glass of wine made me feel skinny/comfortable in my skin.

It’s not just about wanting to feel drunk or be loose. I didn’t even know if I could be funny or fun, or if I would find other people as funny as they thought they were when they were drinking.

I used to think they were hilarious too when I was drunk. So today, something came up for me.

I have this app called Time Hop that shows all my pictures and memories from previous years on this day. And today, a memory from about three years ago came up. It was from some random night when I was looking for something fun to do with my boyfriend at the time.

Locally, there was a storytelling event at a small arts studio, and some random lady who was apparently a big deal in storytelling contests was hosting it. She was going to teach people how to tell their life stories and do stand-up in about 10 minutes.

Now, I always love a good microphone and an open mic, so I was like, “I’m in!”

I went there with my boyfriend, and the moment I walked in, I immediately looked for the bar — but there was no bar. They only had tea and coffee. I had a moment of hesitation in my head.

If the place had been more crowded and I could have hidden, I would have walked right back out and gone to a bar for a drink. But it felt like… I felt like everyone’s eyes were on me when I walked in (although nobody probably noticed). I decided to sit down at a small table. But I thought I would never volunteer to tell any stories because I didn’t have my liquid courage.

In the end, I did tell a story that night. I have no idea if I was good, bad, or ugly, but I was so aware that I wasn’t felling like my normal self. I couldn’t wait to figure out where I could go after the event to get a drink and get that skinny/comfortable feeling I was missing.

The interesting thing about this sober reference is that the woman leading that program is now one of my sober friends. Back then, I didn’t know her at all. It’s not about her having many years of sobriety or anything like that.

That night wasn’t about sobriety. If it had been, I definitely would have left. It was just a fun night. It made me realize that I could survive awkward social settings without alcohol.

That night gave me a sober reference to tuck away in my back pocket. As someone who isn’t particularly religious but often looks for spiritual connections and meaning, it’s not lost on me that a year before I even considered being sober, I was in a room led by someone engaged in a social activity that didn’t involve alcohol. It showed me that fun things can happen without it.

So while I may not choose to walk into a small, awkward art studio and tell my story again, what’s interesting is that I proved to myself that I can do it. It took me another year to actually practice it. So you didn’t know that a seed was planted that night, a really important seed that showed me something beautiful could happen without alcohol.

That night showed me that there are other ways to have fun — and it just might have been the night that changed my life forever.